Forget good looks or smooth talking, manners are what matter when it comes to men.
And so Britain's age-old arbiter of good taste, Debrett's, has published a new guide to chivalry for the modern man.
From tips on whether it is appropriate to open a door for a woman in today's post-feminist society, to how to maintain an erotic life with a lover - (avoid treating her like your mother) - Manners for Men promises to equip any male with the style and panache to confront every social challenge.
"There is nothing more attractive than the man who knows how to handle himself in every situation," editor Jo Bryant said at the book launch this week.
"Chivalry is... less action-based these days," the guide, written by E. Jane Dickson, says. "Impeccable manners" are what mark a man out, and they must be universally applied.
"Our hero... speaks to waiters in the same way as he speaks to his boss, and can relate to children without coming across like a hyperactive reject from Saturday morning television."
Famous as the ultimate guide on Britain's aristocracy, Debrett's first edition of Peerage and Baronetage was published more than 230 years ago. Its original tome on manners, Debrett's Correct Form, has guided Britain's upper classes through the minefields of high-society etiquette for decades.
But in recent times, "the toff's bible", as it is known, has thrown off its stuffy image and moved into more modern times.
Last year it published an Etiquette for Girls guide which offered tips on having an affair, going topless, and stubbing out a cigarette without causing offence.
In Manners for Men, smoking is placed squarely in the "bad habits" chapter - along with arrogance, tantrums, patronizing behavior and being drunk.
For men at work, there is guidance with flirting (don't do it too much), dealing with female bosses (respectfully), and on stress (not sexy).
"Clutching your forehead every time your Blackberry bleeps does not mark you out as an Alpha male, it makes you look like a salary monkey on a short leash," the guide says.
Flirting, it declares, is "a powerful and social professional tool", but it warns: "It should never be a transparent attempt at self-advancement.
"It is imperative, for the good of your career and your relationship, that you show precisely the degree of respect and professionalism toward a female superior that you would to a male," the guide advises.
"Ascribing questionable executive decisions to the effects of PMT/sexual frustration/the menopause won't secure your advancement in either the boardroom or the bedroom."
(China Daily 09/28/2007 page 1)
（英语点津 Linda 编辑）
About the broadcaster:
Marc Checkley is a freelance journalist and media producer from Auckland, New Zealand. Marc has had an eclectic career in the media/arts, most recently working as a radio journalist for NewstalkZB, New Zealand’s leading news radio network, as a feature writer for Travel Inc, New Nutrition Business (UK) and contributor for Mana Magazine and the Sunday Star Times. Marc is also a passionate arts educator and is involved in various media/theatre projects in his native New Zealand and Singapore where he is currently based. Marc joins the China Daily with support from the Asia New Zealand Foundation.
